I’m going to disclose something potentially damning about myself now: I’ve never had a paid, conventional, 9-5, full-time job before. Well, I’ve never had one that encompasses all these qualities at the same time.

Although I’ve been able to safely account for most of my “working” life by virtue of being at university* (full-time, or as full-time as an arts student can be…), and in volunteering, the often-uncomfortable fact is that, due most likely to a combination of circumstance and simple bad luck in that area, I’ve made it to nearly-thirty with less “working” experience than your average school-leaver, fresh out of the can.

*Also, I guess that spending those years at university investing in a degree which is probably one of the LEAST likely to lead directly to paid employment also hasn’t helped my situation.

However, this isn’t for lack of trying, particularly upon my leaving school with considerably poorer grades than I was hoping. At my peak, I was dumping around 5-10 of my proudly-tailor-made CVs per day upon the unwitting shop-bar-cafe circuit in my town; only a (child-size) handful of which actually invited me for an interview; almost none of whom actually offered me anything. Eventually, I would end up acquiring a very short-lived customer service job and a brief stint in “hospitality temping” – both of which I became certain I was suited to in NO way…

Furthermore, during those times when I found myself out of both work and education, I found myself actually WANTING to do something productive with my life. For me, finding work wasn’t just a way to earn money and make a living, it was a way to potentially enrich my life and to “make a contribution to society” – win-win.

Thus I was initiated into the world of volunteering. I started out helping in my local Oxfam store, which I grew to like enough to actually want as a paid position, except none were then available. I got a well rounded impression of working for a charitable organisation and felt… of-use. Then sometime later along came a full-time placement doing editing and graphic design for a local community project – full-time, but still technically volunteering.

Then in the middle of uni, I did more Oxfam time here and there, then when I graduated I had WAY more free time to fill, and job prospects which ended up being only slightly better than when I started my course. The trouble was that by the time of my graduation, the climate was such that not only were jobs scarce even for the most highly qualified people, but now competition for volunteering placements had grown so much that there were virtually queues out the door to basically work for free.

A few years ago, shortly before graduating, I applied for a mobile library role which would involve helping to deliver books to those unable to come to the library. After an intensive interviewing process and a thorough background check, I then heard… nothing. Ever again. I’m still not sure whether they were inundated with applicants in which I got lost in the shuffle, or they simply found a better fit for the role. Either way, it would now seem that even offering time for nothing in return would be a new challenge.

Something to this effect would happen a few more times between then and now. I would apply for a volunteering position with a view to “making-a-contribution-to-society” (and frankly, also to stop myself going insane), I would go along a few times, basking in the feel-good glow which comes from doing-a-good-thing. I believe I even dared to allow myself to feel a little smug on occasion.

Then the work-load would cease, or I would no longer be needed for the position, or communication would simply cease for whatever reason. Then I’d be back to square one.

I’m still not entirely sure whether I’m going wrong somewhere in the whole process of volunteering, or if there is just no place for a would-be writer/researcher/librarian (where my skills most closely lie, if anywhere) in this mad new world with far too many people also wanting to do-a-good-thing.

But in the absence of that ever-elusive full-time job which has been dodging me ever since I’ve been old enough to require one, I need to do something to keep the encroaching tide of ennui at a safe distance.

Or I might even be forced to take up running again.

Posted on December 20, 2012

Reading the news every day, there’s a great deal to be depressed about, though one thing in particular caught my attention, due to the sheer recurrence of the story.

The SSPCA has recently issued a fresh warning to those who would give a pet as a Christmas present this Christmas – because the sad fact is that so many of them end up abandoned in shelters, and even on the streets, as owners find that taking on a new pet isn’t quite the no-strings-attached ride they were expecting.

The Scottish SPCA has announced that they will no longer be re-homing animals during the peak Christmas period (December 20 to January 3), in a bit to avoid even more pets undergoing the ordeal of being accepted into, then promptly rejected from, a new home.

The sheer number of reasons given for returning unwanted pets – late-onset allergies and keeping the house tidy, to name a couple – all fail to disguise the real reason; that their old-timer pooch or moggy is simply not as “cute” in their old age. Furthermore, so many of the people making these excuses are the ones who ignored the plain fact that pets – whatever species or breed they are – require lifelong love and care – not to mention a bit of the loyalty that they give to their owners so freely…

Personally, I would love to have a new furry addition to the household, whether during the festive season or indeed at any other time. However, I have also witnessed the experiences of other people when it comes to pet owning, and all the potential hidden costs and time-consuming measures that need to be undertaken just to keep the critters happy and healthy.

However, these people in question have thought very carefully and for a long time before going for the plunge, and have the domestic and financial resources to be able to care for them properly. Cats and dogs can make quite a mess of the home and require endless amounts of attention, and ferrets… you’ll be very grateful for the existence of air freshener if you’ve ever encountered any.

Despite the various problems their pets can have, overall they are a joy to have in the home, and they won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. Maybe I’ll be able to commit to a pet, or pets even, of my own some day, but for the time being, my tiny flat and limited income have meant that I’ve had to put that on hold for the foreseeable future, and restrict myself to cooing and pulling funny faces at unsuspecting pugs, danes and everything in between – when their owners aren’t looking, of course.

To re-cap – if you’re reading this, having found my site by some fluke or miracle, PLEASE do not make pet-buying or pet-adopting an impulse purchase, thinking of it as something that can simply be returned to the store.

If in doubt, leave it till you’re definitely ready.

Posted on September 24, 2012

Things have continued to move rather slowly since I lasted posted here. But for virtually everyone else in my social circle, it has been quite the rollercoaster ride of late.

Both my sister and parents have upped sticks and escaped to the countryside, the former to a village on the outskirts of town life, and the latter to an idyllic lochside inn. Other acquaintances have either already taken the plunge, or are at least talking about it, and it is something which worries the fringes of my brain ever more often.

With the rising cost of everything, and urban areas getting more overcrowded by the day, my inner hermit is not only emerging, but actively demanding more attention. However it is not entirely certain what should be done.

While it would, on paper, be excellent to abandon “real life”, it is all too easy to forget the unforseen reality of such an impulse. The trouble is that real life, all too often, tends to follow you wherever you go and to stick quite faithfully by your side. So do hordes of other people with the same idea but more on that another time.

Also things in general are sufficiently stable, for the time being, to warrant being careful about changing too much too soon.

Perhaps the real concern here is one of succumbing to complacency, or stagnating in life. I would just like to be sure that I’m making the most out of life but most of the time I’m not even sure what I want to be doing.

Hopefully as the days darken, it will have the inverse effect of shedding some light on the next move to make, if indeed any.

Posted on September 8, 2012

… mostly because I’ve not had much to report recently. But in the interest of keeping up to date with my site…

I’m going to a wedding today, along with the fiance, with whom this will be my first full-day wedding, and because of a charity cycling event tomorrow (Pedal for Scotland), it will be a relatively sober one. I’m particularly bad at these types of events, or any type of socialising en masse, but it will be good to see everyone, and to actually meet the bride!

Also there’s the fact that I’m nowhere near adequately prepared for this cycling trip, but I’m determined to do at least one such challenge, and as they go, this is meant to be one of the more beginner friendly. We’ll see.

Since my plans for postgraduate study went down the drain, I’ve been applying for pretty much everywhere else. Luckily I’ve gotten a couple more gigs in content writing, bad news is that my creative writing is still on the wane. It’s quite difficult when you’re trying.

Healthwise, things could be better for myself and my fiance, but hopefully with an adjustment here and there, things will improve for us pretty soon.

On that note, I’ll sign off once again. Hopefully by next time I’ll have more in the way of photography, but it’ll probably not all be mine :S